Tonight I drove the family to the airport and put my wife and oldest daughter on an airplane. Since we are missionaries and travel a lot that may not seem like much, but this trip will be very different from any we have made to the airport before. Only one of them has a return ticket. Erin will not be coming back – at least not for a long time.
Erin is about to open a new and exciting chapter in her life and I am very excited about it for her. But I am also finding that I am getting increasingly emotional as we approach her departure. I guess it is a natural thing for a dad to do. Last weekend was her last service at church, so the leaders prayed over her to send her off with a blessing. As I stood there behind her I was taken back to that day, nearly 19 years ago that her mother and I stood before our church in Chattanooga and dedicated our little baby girl to the Lord. At that time it was me that was headed out. My reserve unit had been activated and I was off to Saudi Arabia to go to war. I am so thankful to God that “my” war was so easy and that I came back and had the last 18 years with my little girl.
I look ahead and know that the next four years or so are going to be filled with such great experiences for her. I also realize that our relationship is forever going to be changed by these next four years. Erin is an incredible young woman and I am so proud of her. When she next comes home she will be different though – changed by virtue of having been more independent, by having been responsible for her own decisions, by standing firmly on her own two feet with mom and dad half a world away. She will be fine – God has shaped her into a true woman of God. She has a spiritual depth that I never had at her age. I am so proud of her.
I keep telling myself that this is all part of her growing up, all a natural part of life. I know that and accept that, but it still has a bittersweet pain to it. I can’t help but look back at my own life and the changes that came once I left for college. I am so thankful for the internet and skype and things like that which will make communication so much easier than it was when I was in school. Maybe that will help some. I guess right now my heart if filled with excitement and joy for her, yet with sadness for myself. I am so gonna miss my little girl! I can’t really even put it into words. But life marches on. This is one change that is going to be more difficult for me than I had anticipated I think…
1 comment:
oh my, Matt, having just done this last week my heart is with you. I grabbed Mark at the airport and said, "but he is only four". Alas, my only son is really 19.He called tonight sick, it about broke my heart, I know he wanted to say he wanted his Mummy, but boys don't do that as easily as girls. I am praying for you and Cindy as well as the kids, each of you have a special sadness. But as you said, it is also a happy new chapter. Hang in there.
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