Lasts, firsts, and transitions

OK – so there is a whole raft of emotions going through me right now and I really just need to sit down and get some of them written down.  Tomorrow morning, very early, I will be head to the airport with Caleb.  We are headed back to the US – but his ticket is a one way ticket.  I’ll be there for 3 weeks then I will leave him behind and return to Albania.

Folks have been asking me for the last several weeks how I feel about our kids growing up and moving away from home.  Honestly, we are very proud of our kids and believe that they are reaching that point in life where they are ready to head out into the “big bad world” on their own – at least into the still somewhat sheltered world of college.  I am especially sure that Caleb is ready for the transition.  I am so proud of the young man he has become!

God has blessed Caleb with some pretty incredible musical talent (if I may say so myself).  He plays guitar and piano and percussion, he sings, and he is writing his own instrumental pieces.  His walk with God is solid. He has his head screwed on pretty well. He loves people, has an infectious laugh, and is quite athletic too.  He loves climbing, cycling, swimming, and just about anything else that involves sports and being with friends.

I love my son.

I am proud of my son.

I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with him in the days ahead.

But I sit here at my computer, eyes filling with tears, because he is headed out on his own now.  I am not worried about him, but I can’t approach this milestone without being at least a little sad.  The next time we play on the Xbox together it will be through the internet using Xbox live – not sitting together on the loveseat in our living room. Our chats will no longer be at our favorite “man meal” spot here in Tirana, but over skype.  Our lives are changing.

As a missionary, I am used to life changing.  It seems like something is always changing – in fact I have often said that the only constant in our lives is change.  But this one hits pretty close to home.  Erin has already ventured off to school.  Caleb is setting out on his own now.  By the end of this summer, Emily will be out of the house and in college too.  That is a lot of really big change in a relatively short amount of time.

So I sit here, sad, excited, curious, and yes, a bit tearful. I know that God will take care of my kids.  He has been taking care of me since before I was even born, so I know I can trust him with my children.  As a dad, I know the transitions ahead will be challenging for all of us.  But I am confident that Caleb is up to the challenges ahead.  I’ve been watching this last week as he has gone through a series of “lasts”-- the last worship team meeting, the last church service, the last coffee with the guys in the youth ministry, etc.  Next up is the series of “firsts” he will be experiencing on the other side of the pond. 

(photo by Joanna Linderman)

Caleb, 19+ years ago, when God gave you to us, your mother and I dedicated you to Him.  It has been an incredible privilege watching you grow into a man. I love being your dad. I love being your friend.  God gave us the awesome responsibility and privilege of raising you, nurturing you, training you, and loving you. It has been an honor. Walk with Him daily. Remember His love for you in every situation. Follow hard after Him with your whole heart.  Never forget that we are here for you no matter what.  Nothing will ever diminish the love I have for you.  At the risk of sounding corny (but when has that ever stopped me- right?) – GO FORTH AND CONQUER!  I’ll be cheering for you from this side of the pond, or wherever God moves us in the future.